Dennett, you have a heart of gold, and I love you for that. Thank you for publishing and for being so supportive.

I think my father was a victim of being very insecure. He drove away all his kids with his bad attitude. My step brothers and sisters couldn’t wait to leave and all fought with him like cats and dogs. (My eldest brother went to his grave without speaking to my father since leaving home.)

He was obsessed with being part Jewish. He was certain that he had been picked on for it and was always ranting about “antisemitism”. (For years I had no idea what that meant.) He felt that he had been passed over for jobs and wage hikes because of it.

I was the youngest, the product of a second marriage — he once told me that his first wife was his one true love — the poor lady died horribly with bone cancer. Naturally, I took his comment the wrong way, feeling that it was mean to my Mum. He had married her at 21 to his 45.

We were not living in good circumstances once we moved to Portugal in the 1950s. He chose Portugal because it was a neutral country and he felt the family would be safe there. At the time he made that decision, he was still working for UPA (United Press of America) not long after we moved he was fired. He got a package but probably not enough for long. He had his army pension and was able to pick up the odd job here and there, but nothing brilliant. Luckily the rent we paid was very cheap and living was pretty cheap there too. He began to gamble at the Casino — not a lot, but steady. He was determined that he had a “sure way to beat the odds”. He did not.

None of this excuses him, but it may shed light onto how he was. For many years I bore a huge grudge against him, probably still do. However, I DID go to University as an adult, and I did graduate with honours as the class valadictorian — so that dispelled one of his notions that I was too dumb to go to uni. LOL

You are right — I can thank my Mother for guiding me to be a somewhat okay person. Suzanne Blake helped a lot too, standing in for my Mum. It takes a long time to get out from under childhood bugaboos.