Last Dance With Mary Jane

Cannabis Leaves. Photo by Rick Proctor on Unsplash

Last Dance With Mary Jane …Canada’s Stupid Marijuana Laws

Some months ago I was introduced to the idea of using marijuana as a pain aid for my osteoarthritis, which is particularly active in my finger joints.

Several people I know were using it and finding it really helpful in controlling pain and discomfort.

Although recreational marijuana would only become legal in Canada in mid-October 2018, the legal use of medical marijuana has been in place since 2001, with various changes taking place to the legislation over time.

As it stands now, one has to get one’s own MD to give one a referral to a legally-Health Canada approved clinic, where one is seen/interviewed by a Cannabis specializing doctor.

Never keen on smoking of any type, I was encouraged to learn that it is possible to take the Cannabis orally as an oil.

Medicine bottle with cap removed and to the side. Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

On that basis, I asked my family doctor to give me a referral to this Cannabis clinic.

First of all — there are not very many of these clinics in our area. One is located in down town Toronto in an area that I consider somewhat risky, the other one is located in north central Toronto.

It is impossible to drive to it because there is almost no parking and the streets in that area are under construction. The only way to get to it is via subway. No big deal I thought. I booked the appointment for early afternoon, and got on the subway.

Photo by JC Gellidon on Unsplash

The first part of the ride was uneventful — but when I switched to the northbound train, it became tense. A scruffy man got up and started to threaten passengers with violence if they didn’t give him money. After he got off, another similar one got on and proceeded to walk along the train, raving. By the time I reached my station, I was a nervous wreck.

A scruffy man got up and began to act aggressive. Computer art by Louise Peacock

Because that particular intersection is torn up and under construction and because there are no well marked signs, I got lost trying to find the right side of the street. When I finally found the right building, I met with a REALLY snarly front-desk-security woman. Clearly a HUGE chip on her fat shoulders and would barely confirm I was in the right place. By the time I arrived for my appointment I was frazzled.

The clinic was clean and the waiting room filled with various people waiting to be seen. I checked in at the reception desk and was told I had to fill out a questionnaire. I already filled out the same questionnaire online. I told them that, and they said I should fill it out again so they would have a copy. ??? What, they can’t print out the online form? WTF?

I found the clinic staff glib, and annoying and all very young. Eventually, I was seen by some young guy who was supposedly a doctor, but looked and acted more like a hip athletic trainer. (The one played by Brad Pitt in Burn After Reading …) He asked me a bunch of questions from a sheet, which basically covered everything I had already done in the online and hard copy questionnaire. It was like being interviewed by a robot. He did NOT instil in me the slightest confidence. Eventually, he gave me a “referral/prescription” to an approved Cannabis supplier.

Everything this guy said was by rote. A well rehearsed script. He ran down the way the drug works, how it should be taken etc, but it sounded like he had been reading it off a teleprompter. He finished up with “Do you have any questions?” It was on the tip of my tongue to ask if he got his Dr. degree from an online place … I restrained myself.

The so-called Cannabis Dr. was very young and glib. Computer art by Louise Peacock

When I got home, I got my computer literate better-half to get the account set up with this supplier. Good thing he did it for me, it was annoying and tricky to do, even for him.

Eventually the product arrived via an oily looking driver in an unmarked car.

I began taking it as per the schedule of amount per daily dose the clinic had provided.

So they start you off with a very small amount, you take that for two days and then increase. This goes on until you reach a level where you feel you are getting some relief.

I noticed a decrease in bouts of pain, and a decrease in swelling in my finger joints. Naturally, I was very pleased. I was not suffering any side effects other than the stuff tasted like Sh*t and smelled worse.

I continued with the stuff for another two months, and continued to find relief.

We ordered third batch. Right after I began taking the oil from the new batch, I began to have serious acidity issues, and worse than that, the pain relief stopped. I pressed on for a couple of weeks, but when it reached the point I could barely swallow anything, I decided it was time to stop.

I contacted the supplier, who told me that based on the information on the bottles, this was from the same “batch” as the first and second orders, and so therefore there was no difference. They had no viable explanation for why, suddenly the last batch stopped working, not why it would suddenly start to give me really serious side effects. I was unimpressed with their response, and did not believe them when they insisted all the oil I had ordered came from the same batch.

Now, bear in mind that this stuff is SUPPOSEDLY strictly controlled and inspected by Health Canada, so it must be great, right?

I discussed the issue with our local health-food supplier, where one of the owners happens to be a nutritionist. She looked at one of the bottles I had, and pointed out that it contains a 2% amount of THC, with 98 % being CBD. She said that my negative reactions demonstrated that I had a bad reaction to the tiny amount of THC. She couldn’t see why it had only manifested itself in the last batch, but opined that the way in which the product is made is not as controlled as the government would have us believe. So that the product could vary from batch to batch.

In her opinion, for medical purposes, a product that is 100% CBD is a much better option. At the moment, thanks to our meddling government a purely CBD product is not really legal. Even though CBD has no ability to get you stoned. A purely CBD product for medicinal purposes is not considered to be medicinal, so it cannot be obtained legally. It is also not covered under the recreational Cannabis umbrella.

My friend also figures that the Government, the Cannabis Clinics and the Cannabis Doctors are all getting a cut of the profits from the so-called controlled Cannabis. Medical Cannabis is a big moneymaker, as is, of course the newly legal recreational Cannabis.

So, as a person that suffers from chronic pain, and would benefit from a pure CBD product, I am basically screwed.

Thank you Canadian Government, or Big Brother Government, for your constant meddling in the lives of taxpayers.

Oh and a footnote here, below is a link to an article showing how beautifully secure one should feel about government oversight of medical pot.

Last Dance With Mary Jane Written by Tom Petty

A warped Cannabis leaf. Computer art by Louise Peacock.




Louise Peacock is a writer, garden designer, Reiki practitioner, singer-songwriter & animal activist. Favorite insult “Eat cake & choke” On Medium since 2016.

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Louise Peacock

Louise Peacock

Louise Peacock is a writer, garden designer, Reiki practitioner, singer-songwriter & animal activist. Favorite insult “Eat cake & choke” On Medium since 2016.

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