You should not feel guilty, Dennet. Also, I disagree with the idea of you asking for big increase and staying. I think that would be a big mistake.

I think that with your qualifications, you should be able t find another job closer ty home, and more to your liking.

Obviously full retirement would be ideal, but given that circumstances have changed, it might not be the best option for you. A couple of smaller jobs with smaller clients might work better.